Wednesday, August 5, 2015

New Beginnings

I've been trying to figure out how I'm going to address this post, since there is so much about it that I myself am still unsure about. This blog has always been a place where I can share my thoughts and feelings - maybe sometimes too openly - but my goal here has always been to share my heart and my life with you.

It is my very real belief that the human experience here is one of the most important things we will go through - and that learning to become a mirror of Christ here on Earth is rooted in that experience - of grace, forgiveness, compassion, empathy, love, peace and understanding. (Ok, sounds like my inner hippie coming out...)

But truly, I share myself and my family with you because I know I'm not alone. I know it because you tell me privately, and I believe a great healing comes from owning our stories, sharing them and releasing the shame and guilt we feel when we keep secrets and swallow our pain. We cannot hold our thoughts, pain, beliefs inside like shameful secrets. In the words of my bestie Glennon Doyle Melton (ok really it was Mother Teresa), we belong to each other.

It is my hope that by living OUT LOUD, I can become more like Christ. Sharing my life means that you trust me enough to share yours, and when I begin to see glimpses of everyone else's human experiences, I can't help but learn to become more compassionate, more loving and more empathetic to those around me.

However, when your story includes someone else's story, someone else's pain and struggle - the line you walk becomes a very thin line. It's tricky to balance wanting to share my life and yet acknowledge that all parties involved may not yet be on board.

So for now, I want to share this: As I've navigated very tumultuous waters over the last year and sought God's guidance I felt at peace knowing that my role has been to walk through each door as it opens. And that as He opened doors, I would take a leap of faith and walk through them.

And so many things have come together in the eleventh hour - so many details that have had me on edge, stressed, in tears, wondering and pleading when I would know what I was supposed to do. And like most answered prayers, God came through, right when I found myself feeling absolute desperation.

This little band of brothers and one VERY soon to be sister and I are relocating to Pinehurst, NC in the coming weeks. (I suspect Logan is grateful he's in Vermont and wasn't forced to sit on the steps of our new home for pictures!)

Pinehurst is easily one of the most beautiful areas I've ever seen, neighboring some equally beautiful little towns. 2 hours from Charlotte, 2 hours from the beach, gorgeous blue sky, majestic pine trees and a slower pace of life are beckoning us. I never saw any of this coming and can only do my very best to feel confident in God's leading.

Sometimes God gives us an opportunity at a fresh start. Not a do over, not a way to forget our past and we certainly have no guarantees that more troubles don't await us - but a chance to clear our heads, take a few deep breaths, spend a little time focusing on what's important and making sure all hearts are aligned with His plan.

This is a good thing for my family.

As I feel ready, I promise I'll share more. With everything I feel I need to say, it would probably be the world's longest blog post anyway!

But for now, your prayers for my family are (as always) greatly appreciated.