Love is a Verb

Boy social media has been fun this week, hasn't it? (sarcasm)

I can hardly scroll through my feed without being told how to feel, think or act about Caitlyn Jenner, especially because I call myself a follower of Christ.

And since my opinions and thoughts on the whole thing aren't generally aligned with what seems to be popular thought, I don't even want to go there - this isn't a debate about what she should and shouldn't do with her life and what God says or doesn't say about it in the bible.

But rather this is a plea to my friends to stop using social media as a way to be lazy Christians.

It's fine to have opinions, we all do. Our thoughts, experiences, feelings and emotions shape who we are and how we feel about things. I personally don't care what you think or don't think about this whole thing.

But what saddens me is the blatant disgust, attempts at shaming and name calling I have seen from so many people. Shouting bible verses behind the relative anonymity of a computer screen is not really what I believe God had in mind when he commanded us to love others. Assigning greater weight to certain sins over others is not our job.

Last night, I responded to a comment thread about this whole thing, and about the concept that those of us who aren't in an uproar about someone else's life must surely be confusing love with acceptance - that we can love without agreeing with someone's actions. That whole love the sinner, hate the sin thing.

And while I suppose there is truth to that line of thought, to ME, it seems that so many people think love means shouting your opinions on Facebook while sitting on your couch in your pjs watching Netflix. Because as long as we are talking about what God thinks, we're getting the job done right?

Sure I'm not a theologian or a gospel scholar but see, I'm pretty convinced that isn't love at all.

A few years ago, a pastor friend of mine (Holla Jared Kirk!) gave a sermon about love - I don't remember much of it (sorry, Jared...mommy brain and all...) but I DO remember him saying that love is a verb. I've heard this several times since then, so I know you've probably heard it too - but it always sticks with me.

Love isn't just words. It's actions.

Saying you love someone isn't enough. As humans, we respond not just to words but to touch, to kindness, to actions. We observe everything around us and we internalize it and it shapes who we are.

It has become far too easy for us to say passively that we are praying for someone. To talk about our faith on social media or in blogs and think that's enough. To shout about what we are against instead of what we are for. To point fingers and act like someone else sins more than we do.

But the truth is, Christ died for my wretchedness as much as anyone else's. And I don't know about you, but if you really stop and think about that - that'll kick you in the gut. He died for MY sins. For MY wickedness. When you get right down to it, we are all the same in that way.

No, you don't have to agree with someone's actions to love them. But I do have to wonder - isn't it critical to get in the mess with someone you claim to love? Get down in there, sit there with them, try to understand what's happening and what they are struggling with. Listen to their heart, their feelings, their emotions. Learn who they ARE.

In my personal life, I can attest that over the past couple of years I have harbored a LOT of anger towards someone I'm supposed to love. And some of that anger was justified, some of it came from a place of hurt because I had been deeply hurt.

But if I'm being honest, a lot of it came from a place of fear and of misunderstanding.  And yes, my fear and misunderstanding was normal and justified. Most everything I feared would happen DID in fact happen. I felt angry, disgusted, and furious because I didn't want to truly understand what was happening with the other person.  Some of it - a lot of it even - was justifiable.

But if you want to live out the gospel, you have to stop thinking about your own fears and embrace the unknown. To open your mind and listen to what God tells you.

And yeah, sometimes it sucks. Because when you get right down to it - we are all failing. And to admit that God sacrificed His Son for you as much as He did someone else will shine a light on your own brokenness faster than you can blink. But that's what is beautiful about the gospel. Our failures, our sins, our mistakes don't define us.

Hey friends, let's not just preach love. Let's actually give it. The gospel is so much more beautifully lived out through actions and not just words. We have an incredible message of radical love and grace. And if we are commanded to love others, that means we have to try to live life with them and not against them.

(Also y'all - Snopes is a fantastic website to verify what you're posting as truth...just sayin)

Sinking

Back in 2007 (ish) I first heard the song How He Loves. (If you've ever felt really, really angry with God, you should totally check out that link by the way) It was during this song that I prayed to receive Christ for the first time.  I was moved to tears by the lyrics, by the imagery, and by this verse in particular - 

How beautiful a concept is that?  

Todd and I try to make it a priority to see the ocean once a year, and I am never more in awe of God's creation as I am when I stare out at the ocean.  The vastness, the expansiveness, the beauty of it  - it's magnificent and inspiring and awesome.  

Hearing that verse, and imagining God's grace in that way was - and still is - an incredibly powerful way for me to view Him.  To know that He is a God that offers all encompassing love, all encompassing forgiveness, all encompassing compassion.
English theologian Richard Sibbes once said, "There is more mercy in Christ than sin in us."

Don't you just love that?

It's easy to keep score.  In our own lives, in the lives of others - to pull out that invisible little checklist we all secretly keep in our heads.  To record a black mark when we screw up, when our friends screw up, when people we trust screw up.  And if you've been immersed in a religion or culture that pushes works as a value over grace, that's a hard habit or thought process to get past.  

But the truth is we ARE all sinners, each and every one of us.  And the even greater truth is that God knows us intimately and He still offers each one of us that all encompassing, as big as the ocean kind of grace, love and forgiveness.  

One of the things I love most about being a parent is the real life glimpse I get into what God's love must be like.  

I've held, nursed & cared for 3 newborns in my life and here's what I know.  Babies need their mothers. There is something primal about a newborn's need to be held close by a mother.  In the last 10 days of Declan's life, I have observed - again - how he is most easily calmed simply by me stopping what I am doing to nurse him, tuck him inside my shirt for a little skin to skin time, or wear him in a wrap close to my chest.  

In Isaiah 49:15 it says:

       “Can a woman forget her nursing child
           And have no compassion on the son of her womb?
           Even these may forget, but I will not forget you.
16           Behold, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands;
          Your walls are continually before Me."

I love the imagery in this verse - how God compares His love to that of a mother and then takes it a step further by explaining that even if a mother's love fails her child, His love will not. His love never fails, He will never forget us and He will never give up on us.  

How powerful is that?  How incredible a promise to consider.  It's hard for me even comprehend that, because the love I feel for my own children is a crazy big kind of love and God's love is bigger.

There aren't many times in life that 'sinking' could be thought of as a positive.  If you're sinking, it's usually a bad thing.  But sinking into God's grace, into His love can offer you peace and rest.  It can and should calm your fears, your uncertainty and your guilt.  Sink into it and embrace it.  Offer it to those around you.

And remember the promise that God has given you - He knows you more intimately than a nursing mother knows her child and He has inscribed you on the palms of His hands.  He will not forget you.  

  

Protection

(Yes, that is me on the bottom left - younger, thinner, tanner, blonder.  Heh.)

 I'm the oldest of four.  I have 2 younger sisters and a younger brother - and my brother was born with multiple medical issues.  I won't get into them all here because they are complicated, and even after 30 years of being his sister I'm not sure I understand them all but I will tell you this - he had brain tumors and has been through multiple brain surgeries.  He dealt with seizures for most of his childhood.  Behavioral and impulse control problems resulted because of the tumors, surgeries and endless medications.

As a child, I remember our house almost always being in a state of emergency.  My brother was, in many ways, a normal highly spirited and impulsive little guy.  But a lot of that impulsivity was exacerbated by his condition.  Sometimes I'm not sure how my parents made it through those years.

We have legendary stories to tell about my brother, but this is one that always strikes me. I think he was maybe 3 or 4 years old and disappeared one afternoon.  This was pretty common - he was a magician at finding ways to sneak out of the house and take off from a very young age.

On this day, my Mother got into our car to head out and look for him.

In the city we lived in at the time, there was a busy intersection at the bottom of a big hill.  And when I say big, I mean BIG hill.  It was a 4 way stop, 2 lanes at each light - heading into a busy shopping center.  She recounts her experience of sitting at the stop light, waiting for the light to turn green so she could head into the shopping center to look for him.  I believe it was around rush hour, because she tells of how busy the intersection was.  Cars whizzing by, constant movement.  As she sat there, she noticed in the rear view mirror a blur coming down the hill that was my little brother.  Perched on his big wheel, and completely oblivious to the absolute danger that awaited him, he went careening down this hill full speed towards a busy intersection during rush hour traffic.

I can't even BEGIN to fathom how her emotions took over at that moment.  I can almost feel the dread in my own stomach as I think of one of my little ones heading full speed ahead towards such obvious danger and destruction.  As she sat in her car, panicked, stuck in traffic and unable to stop the tragedy that she was sure was to unfold, I'm sure she could do nothing but pray.

The second my brother hit the intersection, it was as if time stood still.  The road fell silent and cars seemed to vanish.  No cars whizzing through the lights, no cars turning into the shopping center.  Just a happy, oblivious little 4 year old boy on a big wheel flying through at break neck speed.  He made it through that intersection without a scratch and as soon as he hit the sidewalk on the other side, my Mom will say how almost immediately traffic picked back up and cars began whizzing down the road again.

I think of that story often - the way he was protected as he unknowingly careened towards what should have resulted in certain death or at least severe injury.  I think of our Heavenly Father looking over him at that moment - seeing my Mother in the car, fear grasping her heart.  I think of Him casting a tunnel of protection over my little brother in the moment he flew through that busy intersection, keeping him safe.

I wonder to myself how many times I have been like that oblivious little boy on a big wheel - without knowledge of what certain destruction was waiting for me.  I wonder how many times my Heavenly Father cast a tunnel of protection around me and let me fly gleefully through what should have been a terrifying and devastating moment.

It is easy to focus on the moments we know went wrong.  It's easy to be angry over things we KNOW caused us pain and despair and tragedy.  Those are tangible, in your face experiences.  I, like so many of you, find myself crying out to God demanding to know WHY He put me in this place.  I want to know WHY He wasn't there to protect me from it.

But the truth is, I am sure He has been there countless times before when I had no idea.  Deep down, I know He is always there, always with me. I will probably never know just how many times he paused life around me and let me experience happiness and pure oblivion.

T. D. Jakes once said, “That thing that is not coming to you may seem good. But either the timing is wrong, or from His position He can see that the future of it is bleak. I have always believed that people who thank God only for delivering them from what happened are just scraping the surface of praise. The real praise comes when you start thanking Him for what could have happened but didn’t because of His swift grace!"

Today, I choose to praise God for his unending grace, love and protection.  I have no doubt it has been rained down upon me in moments that I was completely and utterly unaware.  

of infinite importance

That doesn't seem like it would be too difficult, right?

Have you ever found yourself at a point in your life where you are able to find the negative in just about every situation?  Maybe you point a finger at someone else for not living up to your expectations or making decisions that you would make.  Maybe you find fault in your current situation for reasons beyond anyone's control, or maybe for reasons that ARE in someone's control.

Or maybe you're at the other end of the finger pointing, tired of feeling like you have let someone down  or tired of feeling scrutinized.  And it's easy to get angry, resentful, suspicious and just plain negative.

And the dirty truth is, if you spend the majority of your day finding fault in everyone else - it's probably time to turn the mirror around on yourself.

I've been going through some waves of this lately - you all know I like to keep it real here on my blog, so I try to share myself with you.  I am not a perfect wife, mother or pastor's wife.  We are not a perfect family, we make mistakes but we work hard at loving each other, at serving our church and most of all, honoring God.

And the moments in my life where I find that I'm the most negative or unhappy about my situation, it's usually because I've gotten lazy in my relationship with God.  I've lost sight of the one thing that is SO important to remember - keeping my gaze focused on God blocks out the rest of the junk.  That's eloquently stated, right?

I recently came across a similar sentiment online, perhaps more nicely put:

"What God knows about me is infinitely more important than what others think about me"

You can substitute other things in there - "What God knows about my children is infinitely more important than what others think about them."  Or, "What God knows about my husband is infinitely more important than what others think about him..."

Want to make it basic?  What God knows about YOU and your story is all that matters.

That's the end of it.  What God knows IS what's important.  How am I sharing my heart with Him consistently?  How am I striving to grow and to rely on Him, to press into Him, to block out the noisy chatter all around me?

It's too easy to fall into the trap of feeling like you're not enough, you don't have enough, you can't ever BE enough...

And I don't know about you, but when those kind of thoughts creep into my mind (and they do, oh they do) I suddenly start to feel very cranky about myself and those around me.

But if I wake up with a heart full of gratitude and fixed towards Him, focusing on what I know to be true - that what He knows about me is the most important - I can't help but to feel a more positive outlook.  A weight lifted off my shoulders.  What happens in my life is between me and Him.  End of story.

It doesn't matter what the outside influences whisper in our ears.

Keep your gaze fixed on him.

"...never will I leave you, never will I forsake you..."
                   ~Hebrews 13:5

Ten

Ten things I love lately:

1. My new camera, the Canon Rebel T3i.  Not the fanciest one out there, but perfect for what I need it for.  Kid pics and blog pics.  
2. Trader Joe's Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream.  I'm not usually a mint chocolate chip fan - but this pregnancy has me craving it.  And it has to be from Trader Joe's.
3. Aveda shampoo & conditioner.  Anything Aveda really
4. Pink Magnolia candle I got from Target.  Mmm.
5. Grapefruit Pellegrino - in a mason jar with a ton of ice
6. Numi Organic Tea in Moroccan Mint, perfect nightcap before bed
7. Argo Tea in White Tea & Acai Squeeze
8. Trader Joe's Kona Coffee shortbread cookie.  Hello, heaven in a box
9. My new Vitamix.  It's a basic model, but I adore it.
10. Bread & Wine by Shaua Niequist - I'm actually reading all 3 of her books right now.  Kind of simultaneously.  I couldn't figure out which one to start with so I started reading them all. 

What are your favorite things right now?