Parenting

There are two blog posts circulating around the internet right now - both beginning with, "Dear Mom on the iPhone,"

I read the first one and felt convicted.  I shed a tear or two.  I felt sad that I had, at times, checked out of my kids lives to get one mindless moment for myself to scroll through Instagram or check Facebook status updates of my friends.  I remembered vividly a recent trip to our neighborhood park.  While my oldest (12) chased my youngest (almost 2), I laid down on the slide and CLOSED MY EYES to bask in the sunshine that day.

Then I think I sat on a bench and texted a few friends.  I snapped some pics and uploaded them to Facebook.  I was grateful that Logan was keeping Beckett busy.  Truthfully, some days I'm so overwhelmed by the crushed crackers on my floor, the toy trains in my toilet and the non stop tantrums that I need to sit and check out.  And there are many times I grab my phone and check Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, Twitter more than I need to.  I felt like the post was a great reminder that childhood does go quickly, and my children need and deserve my undivided attention at times.

Then I read the second post.  And I felt relieved.  I found myself saying, "Yeah!  Yeah!  YEAH!" Is it possible that it was OKAY to be checking my phone while my kids play?   I started thinking about all the times I use my phone to send videos and pictures of what's going on at home to my husband who travels a lot for work.  And how I use it to find recipes for meals for my family or to tell me what time the grocery store opens and closes.  I felt justified.

Honestly both posts have their valid points.  And, like with everything, moderation is key.  There ARE times I play on the iPhone more than I should or more than I need to.  There are times it's good to remind myself the tantrum Beckett is throwing probably has more to do with me not being tuned in to his needs than him trying to make my day more stressful than it already is.

But both posts made me realize that I don't need the approval of two random internet bloggers about my parenting.  I don't need to look to the internet to tell me if what I'm doing is ok.  Because the care of my children is entrusted to me by the most important judge of all.  I answer to God and every hug and kiss I give, every word spoken (good or bad), every decision I make - I answer to Him.

There are plenty of things I can improve on as a parent.  But I know that if I have my eyes fixed towards Him, and not towards the approval of other parents or friends, I'm heading in the right direction.  I'll make mistakes, I'll do things I shouldn't - I'll spend more time than I need to mindlessly scrolling through Instagram pictures.  But I'll do a lot of things right too.

I'll give lots of kisses, I'll give lots of hugs.  I'll take my kids to the park and out for bagels on a cold morning.  I may be a girl, but I've been known to wrestle and play rough - it's what happens when you're a mom to boys.  I logged countless hours driving matchbox cars around the floor when Logan was little, and find myself doing the same with Beckett's trains.

I'll take them to church, where they'll learn about Jesus and how much He loves them.  They'll make friends and learn to trust God and find joy in His promises.  They'll learn to pray, and to worship and they'll learn to dance and sing loudly when a good song comes on.

Parenting is a journey.  It's one none of us get exactly right.  But I'm grateful that when the self doubt sets in, the questions roll around in my head or I'm not sure how to handle certain parenting moments I have something greater and bigger to turn to than a few blog posts.

Children are a heritage from the Lord, offering a reward from Him. 

Like arrows in the hands of a warrior, are children born in one's youth.

Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.

Psalm 127:3-5

Determination

We had a park day yesterday.

I'm homeschooling my oldest this year, and we are part of a history co-op every Tuesday.  One of the other moms suggested we meet at the park for some Olympic games.  While the older boys competed in the Olympics, Beckett kept busy chasing squirrels, climbing on play structures and getting really, really dirty.

Playing peek a boo with a squirrel.  Little man was determined to catch it!

I kept noticing his sheer determination yesterday.  Met with rocky terrain, mud, sand, branches and tree roots he fell more often than not.  Poor kid face planted all afternoon long.

But every time he fell over, he got up and kept running full speed ahead.

This one is going to give me a run for my money.  He has no fear.  Before I could even blink he had scurried up to the highest slide on the playground - you know the kind of slide that twirls all the way down and isn't for toddlers, but the big kids?  I couldn't get to him fast enough, so I said a prayer and watched him come careening around the slide full speed ahead.

I couldn't help but be in a little bit of awe of his determination to do it himself.  To keep going.  He's not unusual in this, most kids are the exact same way.  They run, they fall, they get up.  They run, they fall, they get up.  They always keep going.

My children remind me often of things I should be working on and getting better at. 

Like wearing cool shoes and playing in the mud.

Hypothetically speaking, of course.

Yesterday was a reminder to keep going, even when I fall down.  Even when I face plant.  Get up, and keep going.  Play peek a boo with squirrels, find delight in the little things.  Be determined and keep trying.

Twelve.

Logan turned 12 on January 1st...he was out of state, and then we were out of town, and then there was a big bad snowstorm here (haaaa) and then finally, last night, we got to celebrate with family.

12 reasons why I love my firstborn: (in no particular order!)

12.  He has a really good heart.  He loves kids and animals, and that's always a good trait to have.

11.  He has an independent spirit - This kid wants to do it himself, by himself and has for years.  While this might get him into trouble a few times during school group projects (heh), over the years it has translated into him being a HUGE help at home because he learns to do things by himself.

10.  He is musical - he won't admit it, but he's got musical ability.  I hope someday he learns to channel it into an instrument or voice.

9.  Logan is a great big brother - Seriously, 10 years between the 2 of them, but he plays with Beckett and keeps him entertained for me.  He can tell when I'm at my wits end and often swoops in to help out, without being asked.

8.  He is trustworthy - He does what he's asked (even if it takes a few times!)  I think he's one of the more responsible 12 year olds I know.

7.  He's also smart - He's always been ahead in his classes and on the honor roll, generally without trying hard.  He's gifted academically and I hope he continues to use it!

6.   Logan is the random facts king.  He brings up the most random facts all the time - because he is always learning and reading and researching.

5.   He is compassionate - He doesn't like hurting people's feelings or seeing people upset.

4.   He's got a killer smile.  With a little dimple or two if he's really, genuinely smiling.

3.   He is an individual - Logan is not afraid to be different.  He hasn't given in to peer pressure to change who he is to be popular or like anyone else.  He knows what he likes, and he likes it without apology.

2.  Logan is a collector - I prefer this term over hoarder.  Ahem.

1.  And he's a communicator - Logan can TALK.  He is a very detailed communicator and I know this will come in handy in his life.

I can't believe he's 12 - I always think of him like this:

That little guy is growing up way, way too fast.

Happy Twelve, Logan.  I love you!

donuts & salad

it was a donut morning on monday.

becks loved the little donut holes.

logan was all about boston cream.

and i was happy with my cinnamon crumble.

don't worry - we made up for it tonight.