More

As soon as Beckett was old enough, I started teaching him baby signs.  "More" was the first one I taught him - it took him MONTHS to finally sign it back, but when he did, ah what a victory.

He learned many other signs after "more" but it remains his favorite - the sign and word he uses above any other.

I'm sure I don't have to tell you that the mere presence of a toddler brings peace and quiet.  They have such a calming and patient demeanor...

JUST KIDDING.

They are demanding, impatient, full of tantrums and whining.  I call Beckett my little tyrant.  He has his utterly sweet moments where he's loving and fun - but to be honest, much of my day is spent maneuvering around screaming fits and blatant disobedience as he learns and explores the world around him.


He asks for more all day long.  He can have a mouthful of food, more in his tightly clasped little fist and still be demanding more.  It's not just food - he just wants more of everything.  Always.

It's exhausting.

And I thought today how much I learn about God and life from my kids.  Because while I get so exasperated with Beckett's constant requests for more, I can't deny that I myself demand more from God.  From life.  From my surroundings or environment.  It's hard to just be content.

If only I had...

A nicer car.  A bigger house.  Better clothes.  More friends.  More children.  A nicer vacuum.  A better dishwasher.  A bigger bed.  Nicer furniture.  More patience.  More drive.  More vacations.

If only I were...

Thinner.  Prettier.  Happier.  A better mom.  A better wife.  A better friend.  A marathon runner.  A better dresser.

If only my...

Kids behaved.  Husband always knew what I was thinking.

It's easy to look around and see what is lacking, and think about how much better life would be if we just had MORE.

When Todd and I first got married, we blended 2 families, I got pregnant very quickly and my company closed down.  There went one income, just like that.  And we were juggling the needs of 3, soon to be 4 children.  There were plenty of nights of wanting more.  We crammed 6 of us into a small townhouse until we could find something bigger.

And was I thanking God in those moments when we weren't sure how to stretch the paycheck to cover everything?  Or did the panic set in when I realized my 12 year old, two door car might not work for me anymore and not knowing if we'd have a way to buy a bigger one?  Or was I simply wanting and desiring more?

It is so hard to find contentment in the day to day.  We have a constant telescope into the best moments of people's lives via Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc.  It's easy to compare and feel inadequate or jealous.

My little boy's constant requests for more shed some new light onto my own actions today.  As many times as I ask Beckett to stop saying more, I need to be saying it to myself.