31 Days of Brave: Showing Up

Nourish is working on a women's conference for next year - most of you know that already. When Shaunna and I began daydreaming about what the conference would look like, what kind of speakers we wanted to invite to join us, what kind of topics we wanted to discuss - we just felt like She's Brave encompassed all of that.

We use 'brave' a lot in our interactions with the Nourish community.

Have you ever sat with someone as they shared something deeply painful or shameful or guilt ridden or secretive?

I have. And at times, I've been the one doing the sharing.

There is a quiet, still, kind of holiness in those moments. A build of tension, where fear is almost palpable as this person begins to speak their truth. This moment is when a lot of people shut down or shut others out. We become scared of facing truths with someone....unsure of what to say, how to react. Will our facial expressions give us away when they tell us what they're about to tell us?

There is no doubt this fear is exactly what intercepts an authentic, real relationship between two individuals. If we let ourselves be known, will we be rejected?

Within Nourish, we challenge ourselves and our groups to explore this more. What does true acceptance look like? What does it look like to let someone speak their truth and be met with love? What does it look like to sit around a table with 7 or 8 women who are different in personality, age, background, lifestyles and feel accepted?

We've had some precious, scary, hard, redemptive moments around our tables.

It isn't a perfect formula. At times we've stumbled, made mistakes, messed up. At times the message of acceptance gets muddied or lost. In the spirit of honesty, I myself have had moments that I have handled incorrectly despite my best intentions.

We are learning to love regardless. To say sorry, to hold a hand out and pull someone else up. To forgive and to understand.

And that's when the brave comes in. It takes some courage to be a part of this community. You have to commit to a dinner group where you may not really know someone. Then you have to show up and hang out with women who are different from you. And if you really want to get the most out of Nourish, eventually you'll have to share a little bit of who you are. And once you do that, we hope you'll keep coming back. And to keep coming back to a group of women who are getting to know YOU takes courage.

But we hope it also brings comfort and relief: to know and be known - to love and be loved even when it isn't easy.

My heart has been so touched, my soul so encouraged by the women who show up every month, yearning to be brave and fighting through the fear of letting someone else know who they are.

So proud of my girls who show up each month, ready to be brave. 

Interested in attending She's Brave 2016? Buy tickets HERE.

A New Normal and 31 Days Of...

We are finding our new normal around here - as normal as can be found in our current circumstances. Harper Adeline Hahn joined our family on September 18th, the littlest peanut of my brood at 7lbs 10oz and 20 inches long.

She's been a really great baby so far (knock on wood, fingers and toes crossed and all that jazz) She's up at night with normal newborn needs but never participates in MOTNP (Middle of the Night Parties) which is lovely. She sleeps most of the day and cries when she's hungry or needs a diaper change or if she's ticked off at being disturbed.

Her brothers love her, even Declan who still gives me looks of betrayal from time to time when I'm holding her but he's coming around. I caught him singing "Harper, I love you. Harper, I love you" last night at bedtime. Sweetest ever.

It still is surreal to have a baby girl in the house. Sometimes I find myself calling her sweet boy or buddy just because I am SO used to boys! Ha!

It's amazing how in love you can fall with someone you just laid eyes on. I think my favorite part of motherhood is when these tiny, helpless, wrinkly creatures join your family one day as if they've always been there and your heart just feels like exploding all the time from the exhaustion and amazement and joy of it all. Motherhood is hard, like a holy kind of hard, but it is the best part of my life and my children are the best thing about me.

It is impossible to look at Harper and not wonder what her sister, Lilia, might have looked like had she been able to join our family. And of course there are so many conflicting emotions there - because without Lilia, there would be no Declan and no Harper. It is a strange place to be, both missing and mourning a child you never met but feeling so grateful for the ones that came after. It is a beautiful and reassuring thing to know we will meet her one day. Harper was born 3 years and one week after I laid on the table in the ultrasound room and they couldn't find Lilia's heartbeat - and I love that there is a little redemption that has come in the month of September. 

I can't wait to see how Harper grows and changes, to see little pieces of her personality shine through and to watch her interact with her brothers. I think we'll keep her.

Love you sweet Harper!

I've also decided to join in on the 31 Days of Writing Challenge and will be {hopefully} posting every day in October about bravery - specifically pertaining to the She's Brave Conference that's coming up in 2016. I want to dive more into this topic and why we use it so much with our Nourish community. I hope you'll follow along!